Rebuilding
Rebuilding without a blueprint
· 5 min read
I expected recovery to feel like a montage. It felt like laundry. It felt like eating dinner at a normal hour and being surprised that no one commented on it.
The nervous system takes longer than the paperwork. Months after the last contact, I was still scanning rooms, still rehearsing defenses for arguments that were never going to happen again.
What returned first was not confidence. It was preference. Small ones. I wanted the window open. I wanted this song, not that one. Preference is the earliest evidence that a self is still in there.
If you're in the boring part: that's not stalling. That's the work.
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